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09Dec2012
Searching for Love

Question:

My parents ignored me when I was growing up, and I just want someone to love me. If I have a baby to love me, will that satisfy my need, even though I am only 18?

Answer:

First of all, the answer is not searching for something to “love you” but to understand why it is that you don’t feel loved; my understanding of the mind says to me that your lack of feeling loved is based on your experiences in early childhood; the question now becomes, “Would a child be the vehicle to love?”

My answer to this would be no.

You must learn to love yourself even though at times you don’t understand yourself; in my opinion, you can never find love outside of yourself.

Having an infant is not about wanting to be loved by him or her; it’s about providing unconditional love TO THEM; this will difficult if you are looking for the same thing the infant is looking for, which is essentially “wanting to be loved”.

I would suggest to you to explore (with a therapist) just how your parents ignoring you impacted you; understanding this will allow you to heal the place that you don’t feel loved and will one day lead to a life that most importantly will be more fulfilling.

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